I Will Save You by Matt de la Pena

I Will Save You by Matt de la Pena

Author:Matt de la Pena
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9780375897429
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2010-10-11T22:00:00+00:00


There were riptide warning signs posted all over the beach. Only strong swimmers were allowed to go in the water.

Devon didn’t care.

He squeezed my wrists and pulled me in with him, talking the whole time about me needing a rebirth.

“And you hate those parts, don’t you, Special?”

I let him drag me into the current water ’cause when I really thought about it, I did hate parts of me.

The exact ones he was saying.

Devon spit over his shoulder, said: “I watched you the other night, you know. With that rich chick.”

“Where?”

He kept dragging me. “Does it matter? Maybe I was on the roof of that stupid coffee shop. Or under the steps. The point is, I saw how you were acting. And it made me sick.”

The water was up to my waist now. Up to my belly button. The current pulled at my legs. I tried to think how I acted with Olivia as Devon kept pulling me out farther and farther.

I went to pull my wrist away, but Devon gripped harder and said: “Why are you like that?”

I shook my head.

“Answer me,” he said.

“I don’t know.”

“It was pathetic. You were pathetic.”

“I didn’t do anything to you,” I said in a soft voice.

“Actually you did,” he said. “You embarrassed me. And you know what, Special?”

I didn’t say anything.

“You embarrassed yourself, too. Isn’t that right?”

My stomach started hurting, and I couldn’t look at Devon. My eyes burned. The water was up to my chest.

“Special. Look at me.”

I looked at him.

“She doesn’t like you for you, man.”

“What are you talking about?”

Devon spit in the water behind him. “She’s doing charity work, dumbass. She’s slumming it for the summer.”

“That’s not true.”

“She doesn’t wanna be with you, man. Soon as school starts back up it’ll be game over. You’ll never cross her rich-chick mind again.”

“Olivia’s not like that.”

“And you know what the worst part is?”

I tried to pull my wrists away, but he kept ahold of them.

“The worst part is you wish you could abandon yourself, too.”

“No, I don’t,” I said. My eyes stinging, the current pulling.

“I want you to be honest,” Devon said. “Can you do that for once in your life, Special?”

I stayed looking at him as a small swell broke in front of us. We had to jump to keep our heads above water.

“You hate yourself, don’t you?”

A lump went in my throat, and I looked away.

“Say it, Special! Say you hate yourself!”

“I hate myself,” I whispered, and I instantly felt so broken tears came down my cheeks and blended with the ocean water.

“I know you do,” Devon said. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re so tired of pretending.”

I thought of Mr. Red saying I could do anything.

And be anything.

Him saying I had a bright future.

“I’m tired,” I said, feeling like I was gonna throw up. ’Cause Mr. Red just didn’t know me yet. Soon he’d figure out how wrong he was.

Devon’s head went slightly under as the current sucked us out. He came up and spit water and said: “Today we change you.



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